Genesis Chapter 2: Well i guess this is growing up!
another awesome quote from that site: Those who learn for the sake of learning find the Torah sweet; those who learn for ulterior purposes find it bitter. (Zohar, iv, 229b)
so Dear TV Preachers,
stop putting the Bible through YOUR rubric of supporting conservative, capitalist, and sexist (among other -ist) values. learn for the sake of learning. struggle with it, learn from it, and be transformed by it. don't transform it to suit your needs and context. maybe why you're angry at your fellow humans (i.e. the gays, unbelievers, nonbelievers, nonChristian, Liberal Christian, Emerging Christian and secular-types, etc. etc. etc.) is because you're bitter. just a thought, could be wrong.
now for FUN!
Robbie the Rookie Zombie
once upon a time there was a boy named Robbie who was bitten on his pinkie by a zombie. turns out that he turned into a zombie, but still had full use of his cognitive capabilities. so he decided to get up and go out and do what zombies were supposed to do.
but he couldn't remember what zombies were supposed to do all day. he then remembered reading somewhere that zombies were always looking for guys named Brian. so that's what he did. each day he'd go out and say "Brrrrrrriiiiiaaaaannnn.... BrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiIIIIIaaaaannn.... BBBBRRRRRiiiiiAAAANNNN..." until someone would say, "I'm Brian, how can I help you?" and Robbie would shake his hand and go home.
This left Robbie very unsatisfied and not to mention very hungry. But Robbie kept doing it, but asked if the Brian he met that day would buy him dinner. Most would (Brians are nice like that) but the food just didn't taste right to Robbie's zombified taste-buds.
One day, after months and months of being a zombie, Robbie ran into another zombie. He asked the zombie, "Hey, what's up with this Brian thing?" and the zombie was stunned!
"Brian?!" the zombie scoffed. "It's BRAINS! BRAINS, YOU IDIOT!"
It was then that Robbie realized that he had misinterpreted the text, and that he was also dyslexic.