Friday, January 28, 2005

Free Verse!

i wrote this in my truck today as i did 301 miles (exactly! i went to charlottesville for poo's sake!). i think i'm going to be writing a lot in the next couple days, i'll keep y'all posted.

Pimple Panic
by Luke

pimple popper,
pop'n pimples,
stop stressing,
keep it simple.

job stress, responsiblity,
keep your hands off your face,
kick back with no jealousy,
no one is taking your place.

life can be so unfair,
buy the new Wheatus,
if you keep touching down there,
you'll get one on your... upper thigh.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Primitive Radio God

(a experiement in fuse'n music/poetry and blogging)

"Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth with Money in My Hand"
-Primitive Radio Gods from the album ROCKET

Jan lays down and wrestles in her sleep
Moonlight spills on comic books
And superstars in magazines
An old friend calls and tells us where to meet
Her plane takes off from Baltimore
And touches down on Bourbon Street

We sit outside and argue all night long
About a god we've never seen
But never fails to side with me
Sunday comes and all the papers say
Ma Teresa's joined the mob
And happy with her full time job

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

A life is time, they teach us growing up
The seconds ticking killed us all
A million years before the fall
You ride the waves and don't ask where they go
You swim like lions through the crest
And bathe yourself on zebra flesh

I've been downhearted baby,
I've been downhearted baby,
Ever since the day we met

I feel so esoteric. most of these links are puns, but you can't deny that these lyrics are pretty fucking profound.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


Weezer Jam Session - Presented by Flash Player

1. i adore weezer.
2. i heart DDR
3. combine the two and you've got an entire night of fun on your hands!

Spot all the Lyrics, Win Prizes!

hey luke, what have you been reading? Glad I asked myself.

Stephen King's The Dark Tower Series. It's mysterious, crazed, and a great mix of many of my favorite genres. Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Westerns, Romance, and porn. It is also very philosophical, following closely to Einstein theory of parallel worlds. It centers around the gunslinger Roland and his 'Ka-tet'. Ka is something akin to Karma (what goes around comes around... dummy). This book is great but full of tragedy, including Roland himself. He's more of an anti-hero... making stupid, selfish decisions and then saving himself. What can i say, it's no laughing party, when you've been on the murder mile

The Ecological Indian by Shepard Krech III is a fabulous read from my Native American History class. It still is a wonderful read and just goes to prove that all we are is what we're told and most of that's been lies.

Also i've been in and out of a book called "The Ultimate Journey" by Richard Bernstein which is alright, but nothing to rave about.

what else is up? i went to NYC to see Megan and Lauren! check out my pix here! I went alone because Kate is out in Wyoming. Which sucks, but she'll be back on friday and we're both having as much fun as we possibly can while being miserable and separated. It's not every day that we can get hit on by cowboys or hang with two fabulous lesbians. plus there's no way i'd ever have gone to NYC without Kate telling me to. It's not because Meg and Lauren aren't reason enough, but because she gives me courage I didn't know I had and the motivation to get off my ass.

well, now i think that i'm going to bed as the image of you and yer crap leaves my head. much love!

*two things have been accomplished here.. i've finally written a rant and i've done so with 6 million links! yay!

The Best of Dave Barry One Liners!

by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. If anybody cares how you dance, feel sorry for them. They need to get a life and learn how to have fun. And notice that people who dance and cut loose once in awhile, usually live longer.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

18. Don't think that because a person is having fun, they are drinking to excess. Some people have fun naturally given the moment and you need to find out how they do it.

20. Your friends love you anyway.

20. Never be afraid to try something new. After all, a lone amateur built the Ark, a large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Dave Barry - Elegy for the humorist. By Bryan Curtis

Dave Barry, who quit his syndicated humor column last week,: " has been playing dumb for 22 years. Whenever someone suggests that Barry is our noblest social commentator, that he regularly makes the lions of the New York Times editorial page look like bozos, Barry points out that this is impossible, because, unlike most Timesmen, he takes great pride in making booger jokes. Let us ignore that objection and repeat the suggestion. Dave Barry is�was�the most heroic newspaper columnist in America. He hides his considerable candlepower behind a jokester's guise of 'Don't trust me, I'm just the comedian!' Or, as Barry once put it, 'Readers are sometimes critical of me because just about everything I write about is an irresponsible lie.'"

I LOVE DAVE BARRY! His best book is Boogers are my Business along with every other book he has written.

So after losing my radio station, i now have lost my columnist. next they'll cancel Knight Rider. I'm surprised that the show has lasted as long as it has and with the same look. It's gotta be a record that rivals the Simpsons.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Radio is Dead!

WHFS Changes Its Tune to Spanish ( "WHFS-FM, the Washington area radio station that was a pioneering purveyor of alternative rock to generations of young music fans, did a programming U-turn yesterday by ditching the genre for a Spanish-language, pop-music format that transforms it into the largest Spanish-language station on the local dial.

In an instant, the station abandoned the likes of the White Stripes, Green Day and Jet for middle-of-the-road superstars such as Marc Anthony, Juan Luis Guerra and Victor Manuelle"

I'm officially pissed. I know i should be worrying about the tsunami victims, Iraq, and how much $$ Bush is spending on flaunting his own ego next week... but did ya have to take away my favorite radio station? Now I admit i listen to the Elliot in the Morning radio show, because the "Junkies" just plain suck (and they all sound the same and use 'junk-ligo' which is just slang that pre-dates Jock Jams). But after Elliot, i tune in and hear the best mix of rock i've ever heard. of course it had to die.

And yay for the hispanic population getting their acknowledgement of being a viable market. I could be spiteful, because the acknowledgement of their validity comes at my expense, but good for them. If i was fluent, i'd listen to El Zol too just to be supportive. But damn dawg.

Thursday, January 06, 2005


it's your birthday... no.. not your birthday you selfish, egotistical bastard! It's my birthday! I just had to complete the worn out, early 90s frase. (i know it's 'phrase' but my new year's resolution is to abolish the 'ph' in favor of 'f').

so yay for me! i'm one year older and once again reminded of my mortality. such a lovely tradition.

i think it's also a Lindon tradition to have really messed up dreams. Mine consisted of my family-in-law getting ready to go somewhere and i was in the middle of shaving and trying to find my shoes. then i get chased by a fat guy in a huge cartoon car. the car's trunk wiggled like the fat guy's butt when he walked. i got away by hiding in an abandoned ice cream factory where i was able to finish my shaving and change into a suit and join my wife and her family. any clues to what the hell that means?!

and since i need your help, i better be nice to you. sorry i called you selfish and egotistical. i shouldn't be one to talk, i mean i'm the one who has a blog. as for a bastard, you'll have to answer that for yourself. were mommy and daddy married? (ooh that's low)

any who! after all the queezy-sick rants i now leave you with a special saying:

"Knowing is not as fun as thinking. And thinking isn't as fun as seeing." -zen saying

Monday, January 03, 2005


YAY FOR US! It's Kate and my one year anniversary! No, not The Anniversary, but you have good taste in music, mi amigo!

And to those who said that we wouldn't make it this far, i say, "why did you think that... that's kinda asshole-ish of you."


(the moral of this story was to see how many ! i can use!)