Taking it on Faith

thanks to Pastor Bocock for the find! i am a math atheist! ;-)

happy monday everyone, hope your week is off to a good start!

Am I Wry? No.

Time spent here in the hospital is making me an atheist.


Not in the classic "there is no God or gods just as there is no pink unicorns" sense but in the fact that I don't believe in religion. I read a lot of Robert Capon last summer and found this quote:

"Christianity is not a religion. Christianity is the proclamation of the end of religion, not of a new religion, or even of the best of all religions. ...If the cross is the sign of anything, it's the sign that God has gone out of the religion business and solved all of the world's problems without requiring a single human being to do a single religious thing" (The Mystery of Christ ... and Why We Don't Get It, p. 62)

I'm frustrated that more and more people i meet are lamenting "why did this happen to me? I'm a believer!" I don't think bullets, cars, or clogging arteries stop to ask whether one is Christian or not. It's a matter of physics, health and genetics, and spacial location, not a matter of theology. I believe in God and I believe in grace. I also believe in the incarnation of that God of Grace that is with us always... and esp. when we spread the "good news." But we'd sooner accept a God that we are fed to than a God we are fed by. The God presented by Jesus is one that feeds us. That is the God of Christianity. A God that doesn't punish, impeade our free-will, or one that doesn't shame us. I spend a lot of time talking with patients on these three subjects.

Now, sure there are religious elements to the Christian faith. There are some rituals and practices that help us in our daily decernments. They in no way change God, they are not some magic ritual to do when you want to get your way like some petulent child. You shouldn't pray for God to give you that Flatscreen TV, that Mac notebook, or ho-ho-ho, that video gaming system. God isn't your cosmic bellhop. Prayer changes the person who prays. it lets you know that you swim in grace, every second of every day. we are awash in something we can't fully see or comprehend... like fish in water. Like Jason recently stated, "Spirituality is intangible. Religion tries to make it tangible – the expression of the intangible."

So the 3,000 plus dividing Protestant denominations are false boundaries. They only demarcate a focus, an emphasis on social justice, or healing, or sacrament, or organ vs. folk vs praise music, whatever. We can't continue to let that divide us. I'm getting sick of those who do. I can't believe in a religion that divides people. so maybe I'm not an atheist, just really frustrated with people's crap. Really tired of hearing the "why me God?" because that's the wrong question to ask. God is always there, grace ever flowing. God doesn't fit our power-dynamic though. Love is more powerful than anything, it's much harder to do as you have to work at it, keep the relationships going and be honest. It's easier to lie and go to war.

I'm looking forward to 12-15. I've gotten a lot out of the CPE experience. I'm clearer now on how I operate as a pastor and how I think. I'm clear now that I need to serve a parish as I crave that long term relationship and ability to follow up. it's been a fantastic and practical experience. i'm just feeling overwhelmed here at the last few weeks. but i know i'll find the energy to carry on.

headline taken from this song by Mew:

What I Know About Faith

i don't know if many of you know, but i am working as a hospital chaplain in a program called Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). yesterday we had 5 trauma's in 2 hours. this has caused me to reflect on what faith means, esp. since the claim in here by many of you is that faith is a little lower than dirt and isn't true, and does no good.


i've spoken to people from all walks of life. Every Race, and alot of faiths like Amish, Agnostic, Atheist, Christian (fundie to liberal to WTF?!), Wiccan, Hindu, Buddhist, etc. this program is helping me meet people where they are and explore a different perspective than my own. i've been so honored to see how others view the world through their faith, family, and cultural lens.

last night, in two of the trauma's the family system was a mess and people hadn't talked to each other in years. there was bitterness and resentment. but as soon as i walked into the room, they started to come together. they started talking about their hopes and what meaning they are finding in these tragedies. they asked for prayer and were comforted and one family even broke down and cried. i've seen this so many times, rarely have i seen faith during these moments divide. ppl are more accepting of their views and seem to gain some greater perspective.

when you're in the midst of suffering, it is my theory that it helps to triangulate. you know, the mathematical formula to help you find where you are. i think health faith-beliefs do this. provide perspective and look at the larger picture and let the small resentments and grudges fall away.

this isn't to say that things will remain like that.

to say that faith doesn't equal truth is short-sighted. it is one method of finding truth and hope in a situation that is hopeless. i've seen the scientific method and medical knowledge due the same for agnostics/atheists as well, to help them triangulate. both have worked and found hope and truth in their tragedy. to say one is inherently better reeks of egotism and priviledge.

start where they are, test whether their beliefs are toxic or helpful and go from there. this is a great way to COEXIST.

a new blog i've been chatting on, Triangulations has written an atheist's perspective on faith that I think is really helpful and eye-opening. In Sabio Lantz's opinion, here is what "My Favorite Type of Christian" protrayed in through a variety of Christian beliefs and the direction where Sabio and I would prefer them to move:

Christology: Inerrant –> Errant


View of Scripture: High –> Low

Soteriology: Exclusivist –> Inclusivist –> Pluralist –> Universalist

Science: Anti-science –> Pro-science

Women: Misogynist –> Equal Rights & Respect

Homosexuality: Anti-Gay –> Gay-tolerant –> Gay-friendly

Resurrection & Other Miracles: Literalists –> Figurativists

Cosmology: Young Earth Creationist –>Gap Creationist –> Old Earth Creationists–> Evolutionist

Ecclesiology: Top down rule –> Local rule

Missionology: Salvation First –> Service First

Eschatology: Zionist –> Pro-Israel –> Israel-Neutral

I must say that this is where i am and where CPE has taken me. i used to think i was open-minded, but at seminary sometimes we're too used to attacking one another's beliefs than affirming what works. i think this stand is the best way to meet others where they are. that's not to say that all boundaries should drop and hold nothing serious... but to hold loosely, but don't let go... that reminds of a song... RAWK!

CPE

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Sometimes the path leads places I don’t want to go, like to seminary or to places where I’ll be vulnerable. Or even to the Emergency Room. CPE is something i'm required to do and it stands for Clinical Pastoral Education. I work as a chaplain from now until Dec. 15th. Funny for a risk-adverse guy like me who has been in the ER only three times in his life.... i don't like hospitals and can't even watch Discovery Health without feeling queasy. i was in the room for Eve's birth, but that was a bit different, being with strangers is another story.. so i'm worried.... but i've found that this is what believing in God does for me, to lead me to the uncomfortable places and to wrestle before I cross over to the other side of the river. Am I wrestling with God, an angel, or myself? I never know. I just know that where I am at is different than where I was.

I have just followed around a veteran chaplain for a day on the floor, so my experience has been limited thus far. It has spawned a slew of new thoughts and considerations. I have been kicking around the idea of whether or not “religious” people are different from nonreligious people. I thought that there really was no difference aside from one day a week. But seeing the work that is being done in Lancaster General Hospital, I think that there’s more to it. Religious people do things that no one else will do. it's like they're jump'n right on the tracks of the oncoming Suffering Express! Going into these hospitals and listening to stories and hearing of the suffering people are in boggles my mind. Then I notice that no atheist is in a chaplain role. To put oneself right in the way of suffering is something I only see being done by those who subscribe to a belief system.

Then there’s the belief system to consider. In seminary, I attack any logical inconsistencies in my own as well as my fellow classmates theologies but in a chaplain role I found myself just listening. Even when I feel the hairs starting to stand up on the back of my neck, I consider where the other person is coming from. I empathize. From shadowing the vet and hearing my supervisors talk, this is what chaplains are supposed to do. They are largely into hospitality; care for those in trauma making sure nothing is lost in the chaos and visits and prayers for those who are in long term. They don’t run around and tell people what to believe and they aren’t there to make others feel better, although people do after a visit. Largely they are there as a sounding board, to let the person who is suffering know that they aren't alone.

Maybe that’s enough. To know that you aren’t alone, that someone is with you. Just like I find comfort that I am not alone and I trust that God is with us, Immanuel.
So I am already learning a lot! I like my peers and the diversity they bring and how they make me consider various aspects of my own faith like miraculous healing and what I make of Jesus’ role as a healer. I am only nervous about doing my first Code T or T Alert and hope I will be shadowing someone during that time.

All in all, I feel supported and excited to be learning new things and discovering “blind spots” in my own thinking and theology. I’m looking forward to seeing how God is at work in the world beyond my limited scope. I am nervous about trauma but the support from both the LGH staff and from my family is very reassuring.

Grey Area

a man walked up and said
"i've studied the scriptures and i need to decide,
my grandma so recently dead,
what happens when we die."

now i'm a skeptical man,
who thinks the grey areas should be mined,
i said "i dunno, but maybe so,
things tend to turn out fine."

this man, a scientist and all,
said "show me evidence of your find."
"what good is evidence," I said in reply,
"when aeronautics and science can't say,
why a bumblebee should fly."

i cannot tell you nor should i say,
it is up to you to decide whether
from what you feel and what you know
if there's an otherside, and if we'll be there together.

now he's a skeptical man,
no grey areas are fine,
everything must be backed up
every reason to the rhyme.

he said he concludes
life is linear like a horizontal line,
from birth to death with no deviation,
where it stops on a dime.

that's a perspective but for me
i must disagree
i simply don't see it so
each life is a raging river
each with an ebb and flow
and everyone reaches the sea.
for life is concentric circles,
and this here you can test,
that reality defies categories
and each circle is enmeshed.

and the wind when it blows,
it's older than Cairo,
more ancient than the sands,
or our joy or our sorrow.

and from this talk well he just walked,
but got to thinking...
of all the truth and what's the use,
what's worth believing?
since all our lives can't be verified
is truth still worth seeking?
life's not a test but still do your best
search for ideas worth keeping.
and when we die we might just fly
all along on the wind that's breeze'n.

Eve Elizabeth

here's your first look at Eve E.



everyone said that having a baby changes you, changes your world, changes everything! and they're right! i'm more astonished at life and the wonder of it all... it's amazing.

i really can't fathom anyone being an atheist now. like i could sorta see it, but now i think i've been pushed over the edge by the birth of my first child. this kid has aspects of me, aspects of Kate, and some combination of the two... or even stuff that we have no idea where it came from! (and this is only day 5!!)

it's all too perfect of a system, too well designed, thought out, it functions pretty awesomely. and since everyone has been born, you'd think we know everything about it... but we don't. we have the chemicals to induce birth, but have no idea how these things occur naturally. we have no idea why women have Group B streptococcus (GBS), nor why it kills some babies and not others.

just like the world... we can figure out a lot of things in it.. but we can't account for it's existence. we can't account for why things are they way they are, why humans act like they do, why gravity is and how it acts (because it's no where near as uniform as we once thought).

anywho... i love this child. i stare at Eve, i take joy in her even when she's wailing to beat the band. i can't account for how she is or what she will become, but i will take joy and soak up the wonder and awe of it all.. i will be a witness.

Trees and Quantum Entanglement

Today was a sad day for my field education site. Trinity lost a pillar of their community this past Sunday and the community came out today to say goodbye. I had only known John Hess for a few months, i was blessed to meet him.

John Hess had a non-anxious presence. He had an easy manner, attentive. Around him, I really felt my youth, yet sitting next to him, I had the sense that things would work out. I think the best way to describe how I experienced John in these moments would be like this:

John is like a solid, old, and wise oak tree. Firmly rooted and watching, taking it all in. I was like the jittery squirrel scampering around. But it was in John’s presence, his shade, his branches that I found stability and I would think his family and friends would agree.

You may pass trees every day of your life, they’re unmoving and they don’t attract too much attention… but you notice when their gone. I’m happy to have noticed him while he was here. Trinity sure did. During the good times and bad times, John was there through it all. John was a pillar of this community that won’t soon be forgotten. I’m thankful for my short time with John. I am happy and blessed to know that there are such men in the world as John Hess.

Pastor Nancy talked about how we humans get confused and think that stuff and money are wealth. They aren't. Wealth is measured in relationships and memories. It reminds me of Wilco, when they sing on "Jesus Etc" that our love
our love
our love is all we have
our love
our love is all of God's money
everyone is a burning sun



we're all entangled. we're at the molecular level, through Quantum Entanglement and economically, emotionally, and any other way. the people we meet on the street, on our blogs, all are burning suns. we are colliding all the time with people who give light to the universes of their friends, relatives, children, and sometimes, sometimes we get glimpses of this light.

let your light shine! collide!

On Atheists and Agnostics-- A Christian Perspective

a midrash on Not Playing God

God did not make others as I would have made them. God did not give them to me so that i could dominate and control them, but so that i might find the creator by means of them.

how many people are on this planet? a few billion. good. each one is a different way to God. you can learn something different from each. take away the notion of "only those who actively come in the name are the only ones worth paying attention to" because that's just short-sighted. God isn't the most obvious, in fact God is very subtle. there are better ways than a sunrise to let people know that you're there, but that's the method i see God reminds us everyday that God's there... discard notions of secular.. there's no such thing. God is everywhere. The trick is to be atuned to seeing God and finding God in unexpected places.

We do not have control of one another. so what are people of faith supposed to do with Atheists and Agnostics? LEARN FROM THEM!

when we are in dialog, truth dialog, both sides benefit. Atheists and Agnostics have a prophetic message to give to believes... a grand reminder that "WE DON"T KNOW!" and we don't. we have hunches. we have a book that in it's current form has been handed down since 300 c.e. Jesus said many things, but how do we keep his words in focus? by talking with one another.. esp. those who we don't agree with.

Jesus said "when two or three are gathered..." he didn't specify WHO these two or three are.. he didnt' say "when two or three Christian, white, middle-class american males are gathered..." all dialog is sacred. we as Christian frequently screw this part up as we are too busy condemning the other party to hell. cut it out and talk. recognize God in your midst. this is something we as BELIEVERS must do. the NonBeliever still has his or her options open and we must respect that.

-peace and coexistence-

Religionless Christianity

Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers:
"The time when people could be told everything by means of words, whether theological or pious, is over, and so is the time of inwardness and conscience-and that means the time of religion in general... Even those who honestly describe themselves as religious do not in the least act up to it, and so they presumably mean something quite different by religious. How can Christ become the Lord of the religionless as well? Are there religionless Christians? If religion is only a garment of Christianity-and even this garment has looked very different at different times-then what is a religionless christianity?"

this is what i'm after. like john lennon says in Imagine, "imagine there's no heaven, and no religion too." then we're forced to deal with one another right where we're at. religion is only the framework, not the means. we've confused this.

i'm after a type of christianity that doesn't worry about labels. christians originally never worried about labels.. there was a stigma on the sick in the ancient days, the christians went in and helped. there was a stigma on the poor and homeless and starving, like the gods have cursed them.. the christians fed them and took them in... we must return to this!!! we must be the type of christians that help the jewish, atheist, homosexual, black, homeless, sick, martian, dinosaur neighbors... that is our calling.

there will come a point where "being a christian" drops and one actually becomes one (i know i'm not there yet, but i want to be!). at this point one sees the world as though everyone is a Christian and helps without consideration of how they will benefit from this help, how closer they'll get to heaven because of their action. Grace allows us to act without hesitation.

amazing underwater world

watch the octopus at the end! those things are amazing! too bad that science has nothing to do with God cause all of this is random and makes no sense ;-)

CoExist comedy tour!

I gotta find out if this is coming to LTS. Maybe i can get the commitee on diversity to get these people here!

Struggles

I live for new ideas! I love other perspectives. I’m getting large dosages of both in and outside of class. Seminary is awesome. I really enjoy it here because I’m constantly challenged and engaged. I love MS106 because I can hear the stories of others and I absolutely love it. I go through my week giddy with all these things I’m learning.

We learn a lot of terms and concepts here but the biggest overall thing that I’m learning is responsibility. Religion, the Bible, and life in general for that matter is very complicated. It is irresponsible for people to overlook these complications to get what they want out of a text. Two groups that come immediately to mind are the fundamentalists and the atheists.

These groups are two vastly different approaches that share the same irresponsibility. The fundamentalists read the Bible literally and ignore all the other methods and even the tradition and history that spawned the Bible. They get what they want out of it. The atheists do much the same thing. They ignore all the criticisms and methods and just label all religion as “Hocus Pocus.” Both methods are irresponsible, as they take no steps away from what the groups comfort zones.
I think this is directly linked to comfort. This is a comfort that starts with a hunch and will not further explore it for fear of having to change. A dude in my class added "apathy” to this concept, and I too will add this in saying that these people do not want to challenge their worldviews and are apathetic about doing so.

Atheist i have less of a problem with however. they seem to be resisting worshipping a false idol... they have no idols! well, there's always the idol of self, consumerism, etc. but as jose miguel bonino said in his book Room to be People "Only a atheist can be a good Christian." of course both of these groups that i have problems with are presented much more simply here for brevity's sake and i realize that there's a larger more nuanced issue at hand, but this is a quick explanation of what i'm struggle'n with.

As I see it, we have a duty to study and find our way through the world, we have a responsibility to the world. I know my strong and weak points in learning. I know I’ll struggle with Greek and Hebrew as this is wrote memorization. I know my strong points are concepts and theologies. If I can play with concepts and apply them to other things, I have no problem learning. I guess I’m a process learner as I must learn through relationships. I might not have agreed with Plantinga in Theology 101, but I understand him and where he’s coming from. I cannot understand where fundamentalists are coming from.

It would be irresponsible of me to say that I do not have a comfort zone as well. I take great comfort in this seminary. I take comfort that people are looking at the Bible, are struggling and debating. I respect the work involved. I am depressed when people will not take these steps, either by literally reading (or reading into the Bible the words they want to hear) or by not reading it at all. Either way, no further steps are taken to get the story IN the text as well as the story OF the text or to put it another way, the story the text tells and then the story of how that text came about and was written. I am ready for more, keep the challenges coming.