Trip to Ohio

this past weekend, Kate and I took Eve for her first trip to the land of our birth. the land of the bobcats, O-H-I-O! It was both great and bizarre to be in the place where i grew up with my kid.

Kate's sisters threw a "welcome Eve" shower/party/shin-dig and a ton of our friends and family showed up, including our DC friends who moved to Cincy, our C-bus crew, and Kate's aunt from San Fran! it was such a great time! the food was great (Sweet Baby Ray's Pulled Pork, YUM!), the weather perfect, and the conversations were great. i can't think of a better way to spend a saturday.

I was asked "So what was the greatest revelation/change since becoming a parent?" this comment really struck me and i had the following things to say:

1. I have a stake in things. I need to recycle more, keep healthy, and work to preserve the world and make it a better place for my kids to grow up.

2. I am no longer just me. and i never was "just" me. we have the idea that we can be individuals without contact with others, but i can't describe myself without talking about a relationship. I am a husband, friend, brother, son, and now FATHER. i used to fear this last title because of how my own father operated. but now i love this title! my identity is no longer just about me, it's about what type of person i am to my child as well as my friends and family. my identity is corporate, it always was, but now this concept is more of a reality.

we all are in community and relation with one another. i think that a balance needs to be struck between total individual (as this can result in an inflated ego, a sense of isolation leading to depression, or a skewed view of reality) and total community (as this can result in anxiety and a general laziness that "someone will take care of it, "I" don't have to do anything cause there is no "I").

3. Different Priorities. I love my single and no-offspring friends, but our concerns aren't the same anymore. that's okay, that diversity is what makes life interesting! but many ideas, concerns, or stances on issues, i just don't have or hold any more.

that's about it. the trip home also caused me to look through some ol' high school poetry and writings. man, what a collection of self-righteous pissings! i was angry! but that's what happens when you're out of place in a community and not using what is in front of you. i was frustrated by the smallness of my hometown, but i now see the beauty and gifts that experience has given me.

it was a busy weekend. it was a reflective weekend. it was a weekend at the first of the month and that means CANTON FIRST FRIDAY!!! My sister-in-law is in charge of this event, which is part block party part gallery hop. it is outstanding. Lancaster has a first friday as well, but it is nothing compared to the shin-dig Canton puts on. There were the Budweiser Clydesdales, musicians left and right, wonderful art and photography, a slew of diverse peoples (GREAT people-watching!), and the Society for Creative Anachronisms beating the crap out of each other with their home-made swords. it was AWESOME! oh! not to mention that every Saturday after 1st friday there is Scared Scriptless which is a "Who's Line is it Any Way?!" style impromptu comedy show. Downtown Canton is the place to be.

so there's my plug, where's my $50 Sarah? ;-)

Eve Elizabeth

here's your first look at Eve E.



everyone said that having a baby changes you, changes your world, changes everything! and they're right! i'm more astonished at life and the wonder of it all... it's amazing.

i really can't fathom anyone being an atheist now. like i could sorta see it, but now i think i've been pushed over the edge by the birth of my first child. this kid has aspects of me, aspects of Kate, and some combination of the two... or even stuff that we have no idea where it came from! (and this is only day 5!!)

it's all too perfect of a system, too well designed, thought out, it functions pretty awesomely. and since everyone has been born, you'd think we know everything about it... but we don't. we have the chemicals to induce birth, but have no idea how these things occur naturally. we have no idea why women have Group B streptococcus (GBS), nor why it kills some babies and not others.

just like the world... we can figure out a lot of things in it.. but we can't account for it's existence. we can't account for why things are they way they are, why humans act like they do, why gravity is and how it acts (because it's no where near as uniform as we once thought).

anywho... i love this child. i stare at Eve, i take joy in her even when she's wailing to beat the band. i can't account for how she is or what she will become, but i will take joy and soak up the wonder and awe of it all.. i will be a witness.