Europe Continues to Kick Our Ass

So now's a little time for an update! on my life! hooray! it's not really as exciting as it sounds! (i just like exclamation points!)

Work is good but if this tool commercial from Home Depot Europe ever shows in the states, i'll be out of a job. I have sales training this Sunday-Tuesday in Pittsburgh then i go in for one day of work and then it's vacation with Kate, Megan and Lauren at Tybee Island by Savannah, GA. Can't wait! I'm not saying i'm cashing it in at work, but i'm just ready for a break. dammit.

Past weekend was well spent with the in-laws and max, will and sarah running around. lots of kate's family, it was fun! we went to splashdown waterpark which is awesome!!!!!! but still no clay's park.

Tuesday we went to a Nationals vs. Reds game with Katie and Brian. Reds won but with no help from Ken Griffey Jr. who got out at every at bat (retire, dude). This Friday Kate and I are off to see 311 play at Nissan Pavilion. Can't wait for the contact buzz!

Also new to the blogging world is Kate's H.S. friend John David. He's come up with Five Word Tales, which i think is brilliant. Check it out and write a story (THIS... I COMMAND!)

Rule of Three:

Music: Carpark North. A Danish band (proof that Europe is BETTER) that combines alt. rock and 80s new wave into something totally kick ass. Our Danish Buddies Rasmus and Anders got me into them back at OU but this album is leaps and bounds ahead of the other.


Book: Dark Tower #7... FINALLY!


Movies: The Grudge... SCARY. Best thing about Japanese films is that humans don't always win. Americans expect to do the ass kicking, but ooooh no sweetheart, not in this life time, gotta take the losses with the wins.

Speaking of losses, many many people, well... maybe just 11, can expect to have a lot of losses as the Yahoo! draft is complete and the G'town Raptors are gonna run wild.

And OU ranks #2 on the top party skools in the nation! I'll drink to that!!!!

Last note: PLEASE COMMENT! everyone who reads this blog. not hard. just do it so i can see who my audience is... prolly very small... but oh well! thanks for reading!

I'm a Stripper

With the StripGenerator, you can create your own comic strip. Hopefully yours will be as equally not funny as mine is!

special thanks to the ever-wonderful and total hottie Kate (yay for my wife!) for reading me the joke from reader's digest*

----------
*yes, THAT magazine that your grandparents read... shut up already, gawd. like you don't read it! i know you do. i should start a club called RD Readers Under 70, and not only would i be the president, i'd also be a member.

Fantasitastic!

THE DRAFT IS TOMORROW!!!

I've started a fantasy football league... sadly it's on yahoo... not on ESPN.com so that means no hot babes discussing stats. However it does involve family, friends and co-workers going head to head in weekly games! will this mean stronger bonds or the dissolution of my entire social network? only time will tell.

Snape!

If you're as attracted to uppity, snide, and racist wizards as I am, then you're gonna love this video (linked below, sucka!).

I found it on Transbuddha.com which is now my favorite place on the internet.

Driving in the District

As I am the most frequent poster in my family (vs. Val and Garry), i figured i'd continue my reign by showing you all what being on the roads is like here in D.C. Taken from Transbuddha.com, Dysfunctional Driving showcases what to do and what not to do while driving in a city.

i thought it funny at first, but i see 75% of this stuff on the roads every day. I'm going to try to get my place of employment to implement this system as well as the Smith Driving System.

The Obscars

The Obscars is my new invention. In the spirit of the VMA's which have been plugged to death by MTV endlessly running stupid ads for it, i've created the Obscene Awards. Pretty self explanatory.

Winner for Best Picture
I originally heard this on Elliot in the Morning on DC101. They had on Bob Saget (of Full House fame) and he was talking about his favorite movie, "The Aristocrats". Here's the New York Magazine Review that IS safe for work.

Here's the South Park version of it... BUT BEWARE! NOT SAFE FOR WORK (and pretty much everywhere else). This is VILE and OBSCENE and that's why it wins the Obscar for B.P.

Other Awards:
Dumbest Website with the Incorrect Definition
The Tourettes Guy. He also got an Obscar for Best Use of Language. Mainly he won because fewer than 15% of all people who suffer from Tourettes yell things. Tourettes is more similar to Obsessive Complusive Disorder than it is to a fat guy yelling Bob Saget's name. for the complete definition and FAQ check out the TS-USA.ORG site.

Pissiest Person on the Net
THE GEEK. he don't like the Xanga and he's gonna TELL ya!

Most Obscene Event
Re-election of G.W. Bush

Most Obscene Fact
Death toll of the Iraq War

Most Obscenely Funny Religious Site
Landover Baptist

So there is the first annual OBSCARS! hope you all agree that these are pretty obscene. please leave some comments and let me know what you think!

Caffeine, Step Aside...

there's a new addiction in my life and it's known as thefacebook.com. it's pretty awesome to do. just login and you can search for all your friends and drinking buddies from college! and even better yet, you can look at THEIR friends, drinking buddies, and what's-his-face who sat two over in philosophy 203.

takes me back to OU... which i think was like, less than 2 years ago, but everyone who's a frosh this year was in 8th grade when i was a frosh at OU. HOLY MOSES! i'm old. i miss OU. well that's a lie, i don't miss the classes. but i miss see'n all the dudes and give'n them high-fives and all the ladies in the short-shorts.

so in memory of college, i'll go slam my head into a wall to get that nice hangover feeling. ya can't do it in the real world, beer is like mucho $$! they get you hooked young and then look out!

Heavier Things

Forgive my John Mayer reference, but PostSecret is a facinating look into the nature of the human animal.

The point of the website is to send your deepest darkest secrets on postcards to an address (in Germantown, coincidentally!). The guy might or might not post them on the website. Supposedly it's liberating, and i'm thinking i agree with that statement. there are some that are really funny like "i almost never wash my hands after using the restroom" to the really heavy issues like suicide, self-cutting, and molestation issues.

here is one that i really agree with:



*special thanks to Nikki who informed me of this great site on her blog.