World Religions Final Part Three

Ethics 
Can we claim which paths are rabbit trails or authentic? This seems to be the primary concern of the mega-church. A quick test is to look at the measure of love of God, neighbor or self. But how could we really with any integrity? It would be like a climber speaking with authority about paths on the other side of the mountain that he has never been on. The climber may read about these paths in books or have talked to another climber on that particular side. This then, would prove to the climber that all paths seem to be heading to the same place. But any serious climber knows that only those who have climbed the path can speak with authority about where it leads and how it gets there. Once again, to say that there are "other mountains" is a poly-mountain idea and I'm only talking in a mono-mountain context. Nor is it good to assume that all are going up. Taoism seems to state that we should be content with where we are an interact naturally and non-utilitarian with our contexts and those we find in it. The Abrahamic faiths are the ones that seem most concerned about getting to the top and pondering what’s up there. The point being, we should listen to one another and hear what they have to say about their journey.

If people of other faiths want to swap faithful stories of their path and journey up the mountain, then great! In fact, I get a better handle on my faith when I hear these stories. If people of other faiths with whom we are in dialog decide to convert to our path as a result of this sharing, fine! However, conversion is not the ultimate purpose here of interfaith dialogue, sharing the joy and wisdom gleaned from our climbing experience is.

All We Have Is Metaphor 
Religions are like art, poetry, not science. It is after spiritual truths and seeking the best way to live, one that is in tune with a wider and more transcendent reality. I don’t know what to call this, so throughout this paper I have called it God, even though I recognize that other religions don’t have this concept. All we really have is metaphor to describe this experience. Hell, that’s all we have to describe anything! The word apple isn’t the essence of the little red/green/gold thing that grows on trees.

I'm reminded on a Joseph Campbell story about a tribe in Australia whose social order was maintained with the aid of bullroarers which are long flat boards with a couple of slits cut in them and a rope tied at one end. They are swung around over one's head and the low humming sound is other worldly. When the gods were angry the men of the tribe would sound the bullroarers in the woods at night. No one in the tribe knew this of course. The males of the tribe would explain why the gods were angry and what behavior had to change. In the initiation rite of young men into manhood in the tribe is very violent and bloody. Its culmination is the revelation to the boy by the chief priest of "We make the noises."

I believe we do. The noises we make are us trying to attach meaning to the experience of living. Most noises are self-generated and self-interpreted in this model and it seems to be about control. I have no interest in this. My future ministry will be about trying to get behind the buzz of the bullroars and experience the true sounds of the world. Sometimes God is in the thunderstorm, or earthquake, but often God is in the nothing. Just a still small voice in the wilderness. My ministry will be trying to get behind the feedback and attach some meaning to the shared existence of the community I will serve based on the tradition we come out of, namely Christianity. I also naturally tend to look at the similarities between not only my denomination and act ecumenically, but also bring in interfaith dialog. I base this on the shear fact that I share this existence on this planet and it could have been otherwise.

We are made of stardust and tied to the universe. Life on earth is very linked and interconnected. Authoritative claims take away this connection and the church has been a large part of this. So this leads me to think that there's something behind it all... some higher order behind the chaos. I call this something God. Which leads me to a different take on the incarnation: What if we are the incarnated universe trying to figure itself out?

So with that in mind we're called to wrestle and figure it out not make super vague claims like "Jesus is the answer PERIOD" like the mega-church would say. Nor say "There is no god, objective empiricism is the only way to go" like the stalwart atheists do. We are not objective, and while we may have some access to the facts, our brains can’t connect them all as we are very limited. There is an emotional and spiritual side that must be accounted for and atheists often miss this or don’t put enough emphasis on it.

We humans are making noises to try to understand the infinite. We are putting up boundaries on something that cannot be bound and what we place there should only be looked through into the grand divine. I too will look for wisdom where I find it whether in Taoist, Buddhist, Islamic, or one of the other of the world’s great religions. The way I see it, Jesus taught from somewhere between 1 and 3 years. The records we have are spotty at best and completely spun or even fabricated toward a particular editorial slant at worst. Jesus didn’t and couldn’t have taught a comprehensive view and this becomes apparent when Christianity is compared to the vast teachings of the Buddha’s 40 year career.

What I do know is that religion can make all the dogmas and doctrines it wants, the divine won't be contained. It's knocking over fences, crossing property lines. I am compelled to follow.

Step One Done!

I am on step closer to ordination. My local congregation graciously accepted my call and asked really great questions about the ordination paper... through which i had a bad bout of seminarian's disease and had long, complex answers for things that should have been shorter. that being said, they agreed to forward me onto the committee on ministry, meeting set for March 16th at 11 a.m.

so yay!

i've been reading a lot of Christology and Islam books for class. more Steinke and such... and also listening to The Silversun Pickups



and watching movies like Zombieland, The Hangover, and The Hurt Locker. I enjoyed all of them!

so there's your update, what are y'all watching, reading, and listening to?

LAST SEMESTER! The Class Schedule

This last semester, I'm taking World Religions, Christology, and Ministerial Ethics.

World Religions won't be all of the world's religions, which is a shame... but we will study Islam, Taoism, and Buddhism (specifically Tibetan Buddhism).

Christology has a great reading list and one of my fave professors. Books by Marcus Borg, John Dominic Crossan, Katheryn Tanner, and Rudolf Bultmann. Already some of my fave authors/theologians. looking forward to exploring the many thoughts out there about who Jesus is.

Ministerial Ethics is more about how to be an effective administrator and ethically do budgets and such. seems like a continuation of Pastoral Ethics... which largely focused on how to be a good sounding board and pastoral councilor.

i'll keep you posted on how the classes are going and maybe post some insights and such about them.

the real focus of this semester is getting ready to find a call. This Wednesday i head to my home church to discuss my ordination paper. in brief: they read the paper, ask questions about it, and decide if they will recommend me to Church and Ministry. C&M reads and asks me about the paper and then decides whether to recommends status to potomac board of directors. After i'm recommended twice, i am then labeled "authorized to enter the search and call process" meaning "able to circulate his profile to find a church that will have him as their minister." it's an exciting time! i'll keep you posted on that.

keep me in your thoughts and prayers for this Wednesday. i'm expecting no surprises here and am looking forward to being in my home church again and having a conversation about my theological positions and sense of call.

Ordination Paper: What is It?

The ordination paper is a three-part paper dealing with the person's theological perspective and grasp of the historic Christian faith; understanding of the history, theological roots, polity and practice of the United Church of Christ; and the person's faith pilgrimage and understanding of ministry. It is written by me (the candidate) and presented to a committee made up of folks from my local congregation. They will all read it and ask and critique it. This is to determine my abilities; reasons for seeking ordained ministry; educational and theological attainments; knowledge of the history, polity and practices of the United Church of Christ; growth in Christian faith and experience; personal qualities; and preparation and fitness for the call I am seeking.


If the committee is satisfied that the person meets the requirements for ordination, it recommends the person to the association.
 
once again the three parts i will be post will be on:
 
1. My understanding and theological location in the historic Christian faith. (talking about my "doctrines" of God, Christ, Humanity, Church.. etc... you know all the ologies: Christology, Eccesiology, etc.)
 
2. My understanding and location within the United Church of Christ. (grasp of polity, history, and vision for my denom).
 
3. My own personal history and experience (faith journey).
 
I'll be looking for your help just as i did on my Statement on Ministry which lead to the drastic re-write. It is my goal to have this done by the end of this month. Thank you in advance for your help!!

A Drastic Re-Write

Thank you to all who have helped in the crafting of this statement. I knew the old one wasn't where i needed to go... but after my advisor gave some tips, i have come up with the following. First a few words on the statement from my advisor:

When you go to write your statement, remember who your audience is: a search committee or employer. And remember that you are writing to try to express your own personal understanding of ministry and your calling to it. Some of us believe that pastors are shepherds who guide a flock (from behind or before, but either way- pastors lead). Some of us focus on empowerment of laity and believe we are teachers primarily. Some of us believe the church is primarily about: worship, evangelism, good stewardship, social justice, biblical interpreting, building community etc and so on. Although "the church" may be about all of those things and many more, your personal ministry should have some kind of vision and although you may try to "do it all", you probably are more passionate about some things more than others. If you care about bringing people to a life of faith- then emphasize Evangelism in your statement and explain what that might look like if you were to work with a group of people.

and now:

Ministry for me is about intentionally stepping in and caring for others and something larger than yourself. This means ministering TO as well as being ministered BY others. This is the core of the theology put forth by Jesus, namely that life, at its best, is a feedback loop, and relationships are key. Even though relationships can get messy, the only way to know one’s self is to be in relationship with others. I hope to be a minister who empowers and guides others to fully enter into relationship with others and become a people of covenant and autonomy.

To do this, my ministry will focus on five goals, listed below. These are not my only goals, but the ones about which I feel most passionately.

• To bring all religions into a mutually enriching dialogue. When we seek to understand other denominations and even other faith-traditions, we have a sharper focus on our own beliefs. We also respect those people who differ from us, and this respect emphasizes humanity over doctrine. I believe this is a good step toward the UCC’s motto, “That they may all be one.”

• To refuse to make “church-goers” out of my congregants but rather “disciples.” Christianity gets tarnished when its followers parrot beliefs without thinking for themselves. A true follower not only knows what he or she believes but also why.

• To bring a sense of play to the pulpit along with the idea that there is no such thing as secular. We must live in this world. The church, then, becomes the meeting point between this world and the divine. It is both fully secular and fully sacred. I would be mindful of the worldly concerns of the people who attend my church and show the interplay of ever-transmitting divine. Coincidence, after all, is just God choosing to remain anonymous.

• To reach out to people ages 18-30. We’re missing a large segment of the population in our pews. Some may contend that this age group just does not go to church, but my wife and I did, and look where I ended up—in seminary! I would make a push to connect to this neglected age group.

• In my ministry I hope to be welcoming and ready to walk alongside others. I want to meet people where they are and help guide them to where and who they are called to be. I want to create an authentic community that expands, stretches, and moves people in all kinds of ways.

HELP! Statement on Ministry

hey y'all.. i'm writing my statement on ministry and was wondering if i can get some help here. this statement is to show what i think my ministry is supposed to be and do.


let me know what you think:

Ministers are dangerous prophets of immanence and transcendence. This means that ministers are:

Prophetic: Ministers speak out against social and systematic evil. Ministers are committed to doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God. In the words of Jesus, they seek to live by the Great Commandment: loving God and loving their neighbors – including those who might be considered “the least of these” or enemies. They comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted.

Immanent: Ministers are relevant and aware of what is going on around them. They are able to creatively engage the present with elements of their tradition. Ministers affirm the historic Christian faith and the biblical injunction to love one another even when we disagree. Ministers embrace many historic spiritual practices, including prayer, meditation, contemplation, study, art and music, solitude, silence, service, and fellowship, believing that healthy theology cannot be separated from healthy spirituality.

Transcendent: Ministers look for the activity of God in the world and the greater meaning in everyday life. Ministers then spread the Good News of God’s presence to others and this fires the communal imagination. People are then able to maximizing their unique gifts, heart, abilities, personality and experiences in a meaningful place of service through the church to the wider community and from the community to the world.

This then makes Ministers and those around them like Jesus, namely; Dangerous: The record of the church and ministry has shown how the Good News has been co-opted, abused, misused, and controlled by nearly everyone. The life and teachings of Christ gives us more questions than answers. The more questions raised the better and deeper dialogue and thus a better chance at building true, loving relationships. This method is much organic, inclusive, and uncontrolled. It is counter to the systems we build that inherently block this truth in the name of controlling and measuring. The last thing we need is another system as we’ve had the answer in each other all along.

Ministers point to a religious experience and way of living that is beyond our control. Because it arises from responsiveness to what God is doing among us, such experience cannot be channeled or domesticated to our tastes or political ideologies. There is mystery in our existence, God acts in ways that defy explanation or institutionalization. God calls for genuine repentance and a commitment to the life-style of a covenanted people.

Ministers call others to join in the activity of God in the world. In the process, the world can be healed and changed, and so can we.

Thus Far: The Middle of the CPE Program

I am in an extended unit of CPE. Here is my first post on the subject as a refresher. When I came into the program, I was very nervous and unsure of what to expect. The hospital culture seemed very foreign to me. Everything had its place and life was regulated and if I messed up, a whole slew of legal issues would come down on me. Coming off of a parish internship, I felt that I was too theoretical and too apt to preach. Now I think the hospital is a great place. It provides a window to the community that it resides in. It is also the place where faiths sustain people or break apart under the weight of the situation. For a person to fully heal there must be a physical as well as a spiritual healing. I feel more like a pastor now more than ever. I am blessed to hear the stories of those I meet and to walk with them a while on their journeys.

I am learning that I pick up on theories and frameworks naturally. I feel like this is my gift. I am able to sit with people and listen to the system they are using. What are they holding? What frames are they using to interpret life? Once I figure this out I then see how they feel about these frames. If it is working, I don't bother messing with it no matter how I personally feel about it. If they are Wiccan, Gnostic, Fundamentalist Christian or what have you, I’ll use what they give me and go from there. If they are having trouble, I introduce a new idea and see what they do with it. This role of "idea-planter" gives the patient to openly consider and articulate things they are already feeling as well as permission to fully explore these feelings and ideas. I am learning how to translate theory into practice in ways that people can hear without getting overwhelmed. Philosophers are able to take something simple and make it complex, I’m becoming more an artist which takes complex things and make them simple. What I’m learning is invaluable and feel like I’m not leaving near as many people confused as I did at my internship.

I have also learned that I haven't always been too aware of my feeling spent or not. With school work, reading, CPE, parenting, and various other activities, I'm realizing that I have just a little bit on my plate. Usually I would keep at it, grinding the work out, but in this line of work, I really can't do that. One must be very conscious of their boundaries in the pastoral care setting. I will have to learn how to trust a group to accomplish a goal and have patience in the process. I can’t do everything nor should I.

All in all, there has been great growth for me at CPE. I absolutely love it although it is a GIANT time consumer... makes me miss my wife and daughter.

There's no such thing as Secular

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers:

"I had a french pastor friend who wanted to become a saint. At the time i was very impressed with him, but i had to disagree and said in effect that i wish to learn to have faith... I discovered later, and discovering right until this moment, that it is only by living completely in this world that one learns to have faith. one must completely abandon any attempt to make something of oneself, whether it be a saint or a converted sinner or a churchperson, a righteous person. by this worldly-ness i mean living unreservedly in life's duties, problems and successes and failures, experiences, and perplexities. in doing so we throw ourselves completely in the arms of God, taking seriously, not our own sufferings, but those of God in the world."

i was once told by a conservative associate of mine that the bible is easy to understand and has just one message. he then went on to say that he knows God's will and lives completely in christ. he later made clear his wish that i'd come to christ as he did, then i'd know the Truth. i then asked how he could be a person of faith if there were no mystery to his life? faith is the very act of NOT knowing what is going to happen but going anyway? what's the phrase? but for the grace of God go I?

in my view, the opposite of faith is certainity. no need for faith if you know how things are going to turn out. faith is a funny thing. faith is living in the mystery and just having this glimmer of a feeling that things will work out in your favor. usually things work out when you're not focus on yourself but another person. funny how that works out huh? it's the christian paradox: the only way we find ourselves is in others, the only way we believe is trusting the unknown. Faith uses a lot of prayer. and prayer does not change God, but it changes who prays.

we must live in this world. faith is not something you go to or keep in a church and only visit it on sunday. faith is something that is lived in every second of everyday. faith like this finds God in music, movies, and others and takes joy. Take joy when you see an old friend or family member. take joy at accidentally encountering someone you know at Saveway, God is there. Take joy at the random conversation you had with a complete stranger on the the Metro or while walking your dog. God is there. God is there, just below the surface, playing hide-and-seek and hoping that God is seen in the mudane day-to-day.

Having a faith like this helps you go into that room... you know the one. that room in the hospital on the CPE rounds that no one wants to go in. or that room in that house on your block where "that family" lives. or that nursing home with the lonely senior who has lost their life partner. or that prisoner that has so much regret and no hope. too much hurt, tragedy, suffering. Faith like this is knowing that in these rooms, there is no hope... and you go in anyway.

be mindful! God is out there. have faith to put yourself out there where God is.

Autumn Changes

i love the fall. there's something serene about the whole time. the feel, smell, and look of it just brings me peace. my fav. holiday is in here (Halloween) as well as my fav sport (football). it's just awesome!

i look forward to the jeans and t-shirt weather. watching football with my wife while enjoying a few brewskies, esp. Sam Adams' October Fest (best beer in existence!). curling up with a good book in bed after a long day of walking around and enjoying the leaves. watching Eve play in the leaves is gonna be really awesome. watching some scary movies or Hocus Pocus or Sleepy Hollow with some red wine is incredible relaxing too.

this fall is a little different. i start my last year of seminary and that brings with it some peace and some sadness. i'll be soon parting with friends i've made over the past two years... friends i've laughed, challenged, been challenged by, traveled to Egypt, and explored vast theological and ethical questions.

CPE is also bringing a new sense of peace this fall. I feel like I have come into my own.

I have realized how structured my life is and have come to the realization of why this came about. Growing up, I had no father. I felt as though this was a big deficiency and that if I could lose something as important as a father, than I could lose anything and everything in a heartbeat. I was a breath away from chaos and felt very vulnerable. I didn’t like this feeling, so to gain some control I developed ways of thinking and doing that produced definable and verifiable results. It was only later that I realized how capable my mother was and how lucky we were to not have my father around. Thomas Aquinas was taught in my Catholic school and I fell in love with his theology and the scientific method. I develop systems and strategies to understand the chaos, I am always working within a framework.

On the flipside, however; I also know how systems can leave many out. Being from a “broken home” I heard how this distortion of the family system and the sin of divorce are ruining society in my church. No matter how good a Catholic I was, I was still working from a negative space. I would never be fully accepted. So my systems then became less rigid, more flexible, more chaos tolerant.

All this was fine until I stepped into CPE. I thought I had a good handle on the world but I am now realizing how naïve I am. I keep going back to the image of stepping out from behind the telescope and observing the sky in its entirety. I am now over the initial shock. I feel more at home in the hospital as I have a better understanding of what the culture is like. I can empathize more now that I have the process down (and why the process looks like it does to meet the demands it must). I see how I can fit in. Initially I thought that I could never be a good chaplain. Like I’m lacking some integral part. I was trying to fit into a mold I would never go into. I painted myself as some purely intellectual person but that wasn’t true. I operate out of my head, but it is informed and balanced by my heart. I am a Myers Briggs “T” and do not have to become an “F” to do this job. I can track, feel, and yet synthesize what the patients are going through. I can name things that they already know, but don’t know they know it.

For example a woman yesterday was talking about how she feels under-appreciated by her husband. This feeling causes guilt in her for thinking about it and she doesn’t talk about it with her husband and thus she keeps feeling misunderstood, under-appreciated, and guilty. All I had to do was say “Wow, it sounds like you’re feeling trapped in this cycle.” And that was it. She broke down and cried and stated that was exactly it and then talked herself out of the cycle. All I had to do was be there and repeat her words back to her. Granted this is a “minor” situation, but it helped me realize that I AM equipped for this job. The brain always seems to be trying to figure out what the heart already knows and put words to it. I can help here. I can be a non-anxious presence in the midst of death, trauma, and heartache.

I can’t control everything and I have no desire to. My desire is to respond. Sometimes the best response is no response at all. I want to help others to respond as well. Many times they already know the way; they just need to say it to someone. A stranger works best here in these situations it seems because there’s no prior relationship there and therefore no judgment on the part of this stranger. This is the kind stranger example set by The Good Samaritan. I just show them the door that they always knew was there. I can show them this door, but they have to walk through it.

There were times where I just was, I didn’t reflect or try to “do” anything. I let the patients and the families do the doing. What they asked for I did (provide information, prayer, get them water) and when they asked me to go, I went. I feel like I was able to let go and move and not feel spent. I am now looking forward to my next shift. I am surprised at how much I’m enjoying this program and how much I’m learning.

I am learning how natural the process is for me. As natural and easy as the changing colors. For this is the season of change and change can be SO beautiful.

Systems Fail

what if I say you're not like the others
what if I you're not just another one
look at your face, you're the pretender
what if I say I'll never surrender x2

in time I'm so I'm told
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
the pages I repress
they are not permanent, they are temporary, same ol story




...and i'm not the only one.

Five Thoughts

#1. a leaf is not green, it only choose to display that color from the variety of possibilities from the spectrum.

#2. the problem with humans is that we're charged with naming and defining things then we forget this and go to war with other humans (who are charged with naming things as well) over these names and definitions in God's name. God gave us the charge, God never said if God agreed with the names or not.

#3. we are like a river. we flow. we have boundaries and banks, and largely we go the path of least resistence. we can dry up and we can also rage and flood. rivers are intertwined with other rivers, they meet and form new rivers. all rivers eventually reach the ocean. however, what do we call a river that's stopped? it's damned.

#4. Find the two points furthest away from one another, then live in between them. Find the middle path.

#5. Why would one become ordained? can't anyone celebrate the sacraments and preach? you know, priesthood of all believers? well, it's like getting your oil changed. anyone can do it, but only a certified mechanic is trained to look for trouble spots and take precautions where a novice wouldn't think to look.

Lay Committe Evaluation

written by a really smart lady on my lay committe.

Evaluative comments I or others have made about the work of this student include:

Luke needs to slow down when giving a sermon. He should read the scripture verses the night before so he remembers which ones he is making reference to. He should refrain from drinking on Saturday nights so he isn't too hung over on Sunday morning. Some like it because the service is over quicker.

The strengths and/or improvements of the student are:

Luke is good with the youth. He taught them how to cheat at Texas Hold'em and how to fool a cop if you get stopped while intoxicated. When he took the youth on a field trip and the bus driver lost his keys, Luke showed the kids how to hot wire the engine. He told them it was a trick he learned in prison. Almost all the kids made it back and the other ones will be out of the hopsital real soon.

He is good at getting the attention of the congregation when he moons them. He is very knowledgeable; every week we learn something new, for instance I didn't know that it is legal for pastors to smoke marijuana. And I found out that Easter is when Jesus comes out of the tomb and if he sees his shadown we have six more weeks of winter.

He is innovative, for instance serving pizza and beer for communion was real popular.

The older people didn't care for his foul language so they left the church which helps because now there are more places to sit on Sunday.

The weaknesses and/or areas for futher growth for this student are:

It would be good if he showed up on time once in a while. I know he is busy but I'm sure he will get around to reading the Bible someday. But he probably shouldn't refer to the Trinity as "Daddio, Laddio, and the Spook."

I believe that this student is well qualified at this time to perform the following tasks required in the practice of ministry:

Youth pastor or Janitor.

(I think it's a good sign when a congregant thinks this much of you to write something this creative and funny. how blessed i've been to have found TRUCC and people like this author!!!! RAWK!)

In the Midst of Enemies

Dietrich Bonhoeffer Life Together:

"Jesus Christ lived in the midst of his enemies. In the end all his disciples abandoned him. on the cross he was all alone, surrounded by criminals and jeering crowds. he had come for the express purpose of bringing peace to the enemies of God. So christians too belong not in the seclusion of a cloistered life but in the midst of enemies. there they find their mission, their work."

i don't understand the idea of Christian music, movies, etc etc. i can find a christian message in pulp fiction or fight club or marilyn manson. is this so hard?! the "secular" movie and music makers don't hide their struggles with their faith. they don't try to separate their faith and their life. too many christians just visit their faith on sunday and leave it in the hands of their pastor and then they get on the beltway and act like a jerk for the rest of the week. i don't understand this separation. it is to me a false separation. people of faith are never separated from it, albiet they sometimes let their emotions get the better of them.

Befriend your enemy, be nice to those who wish you harm.. this is a hard lesson to learn. but just as soon as one learns this, one finds that one has no enemies. if you are constantly turning the other cheek, the enemies cannot harm you. as soon as you love your enemy, that enemy is no longer, but is now a friend.

get out of your confort zones. life awaits you there. this is why kate and i loved the jaycees so much, you're never in your comfortzone. always doing something different and always meeting new people. these people could be your enemies! they could judge you! you're just putting yourself out there for a let down! sure they could be, but they're not.

kate always says, "Dance! Everyone else is too concerned with themselves! Get down!" and she's right. everyone is too nervous about themselves but when someone breaks out of their own self-consciousness and gives themselves the right to have fun, that's when the party begins. so too with faith and all things good. sin is thinking that you're not allowed, that you're not good enough. God loves you, get over yourself and spread the message! volunteer! dance! dress up like leprochuans and run down the street! live like you have no enemies and you won't.

Trees and Quantum Entanglement

Today was a sad day for my field education site. Trinity lost a pillar of their community this past Sunday and the community came out today to say goodbye. I had only known John Hess for a few months, i was blessed to meet him.

John Hess had a non-anxious presence. He had an easy manner, attentive. Around him, I really felt my youth, yet sitting next to him, I had the sense that things would work out. I think the best way to describe how I experienced John in these moments would be like this:

John is like a solid, old, and wise oak tree. Firmly rooted and watching, taking it all in. I was like the jittery squirrel scampering around. But it was in John’s presence, his shade, his branches that I found stability and I would think his family and friends would agree.

You may pass trees every day of your life, they’re unmoving and they don’t attract too much attention… but you notice when their gone. I’m happy to have noticed him while he was here. Trinity sure did. During the good times and bad times, John was there through it all. John was a pillar of this community that won’t soon be forgotten. I’m thankful for my short time with John. I am happy and blessed to know that there are such men in the world as John Hess.

Pastor Nancy talked about how we humans get confused and think that stuff and money are wealth. They aren't. Wealth is measured in relationships and memories. It reminds me of Wilco, when they sing on "Jesus Etc" that our love
our love
our love is all we have
our love
our love is all of God's money
everyone is a burning sun



we're all entangled. we're at the molecular level, through Quantum Entanglement and economically, emotionally, and any other way. the people we meet on the street, on our blogs, all are burning suns. we are colliding all the time with people who give light to the universes of their friends, relatives, children, and sometimes, sometimes we get glimpses of this light.

let your light shine! collide!

Reflections from today

today didn't go as planned in any sense of the word. Pastor Nancy called at 7:10 and said she had the flu and i had to cover today. yikes!

so we found a really good sermon written by Dr. Susan Fleming McGurgan you can read it here. but i added a few things that i would like to highlight here.

Mark’s Gospel hurls us,
ready or not,
into a lonely and barren wilderness—
a desert—
where everything
either bites
or burns
or stings.

Sometimes, the wilderness can feel a lot like home.

The single mom, stretched so thin that she almost disappears, knows the desert of exhaustion and guilt.

The rejected child, watching silently from beyond the playground, knows the desert called Loneliness.

The convict, numb to the brutality that surrounds him, knows the desert of violence and regret.

The person who has just realize their sexuality and now must come out of the closet, not knowing how their friends and family will react. This is the desert of fear and alienation.

Our nation is in a desert. With two wars, a collapsing economy, and a two party system that is not on speaking terms, we are now in the desert of an uncertain future.

We know the truth about deserts, don’t we?

The truth is; Jesus has been there first.



It was nice to have the support of my wife and the congregation at Trinity Reformed. It affirmed that this is my call and that i can wing it if needed. good day today, despite a sick pastor and the chaotic beginning.

It's a small world...

i travel all the way to Cairo and end up being led in worship by a pastor who went to Bexley Lutheran Seminary... located about 2 hours from my hometown in Ohio. go figure. dude was cool, and i was utterly blown away by his ministry. they share the church with 5 other churches (since you can't build new ones in Egypt due to the heavy regulation). he does friday morning service for around 30 people.. if that. the total membership of his church is around 200 give or take. with this limited amount of resource and people, St Andrews puts on education programs for Sudanese refugees.

they're evening starting a hip-hop program to deal with the gangs. two gangs largely, that prey on the refugees. why refugees and not egyptians? cause then there would be a crack down on ALL refugees, and you can't hit the tourists cause they have armed guards with them at all times. so they prey on their own people... but so do many other minority and marginilized people. i remember we poor kids would almost never fight a higher social class kid. it was always same side of the track fighting... very few times i can remember fighting someone from the good side of the tracks. and if i did, it was due to a football dispute taken too far.

but anywho.. Rev Clifford Lewis is really make'n Ohio proud.

Egypt for Beginners

I just got back from Egypt for my cross-cultural experience for seminary. 18 women and 4 men, now I understand the concept of fraternity! :-) It's not a mission trip, we go to get a better handle on our culture and Christianity in the larger context of the world. Food was great and I have PLENTY of stories to share.

here are my pix from the trip.. all of them, all at once.

I call Steve "Wadi" (which is a dry river bed that flash floods every now and then) cause it fits his personality. He's an all or nothing kinda guy!

the videos are here on my Youtube channel, but i will be post them on the blog with commentary that will hopefully provide even more insight to those who wanna learn about the Egyptian culture and history. here's the video from the first day:



it's interesting when one hits the ground what initial observations one makes. here i noted that it's interesting to be "different" and stared at by little kids. we were even followed! plus add in the shock of 25 million people in one city with jet lag and holy moly! but that priviledge was with me most of the trip. some people go through their whole lives like that, always in the 'other' category. i only have a vague understanding of this and am no where near understanding what people in this position go through on a regular basis, but the shock of it was interesting and eye opening.

as Peggie McIntosh stated in her article "White Priviledge: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack"

I realized that, since hierarchies in our society are interlocking, there was most likely a phenomenon of while privilege that was similarly denied and protected. As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something that puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.

it's one thing to see it, it's a whole other thing to experience it. granted this shock wore off after the first day and once we realized that we were 'safe' and that we were also visiting and would be going back to our culture in two weeks time.

Privilege for me is a double-edged sword. some use it to get others to be aware of it for educational purposes as well as part of a good practice of citizenship. others, however, seem to use it to guilt people and gain the upper-hand. there's a fine line between awareness of privilege and white guilt and being an ex-Catholic, i'm not a believer in guilt.

needless to say i'm aware of it, this trip sure helped that. i hope to make others aware and in this awareness, make the grounds for mutually enriching dialogues. i think this will be a main part of my future ministry, awareness and radical hospitality to all 'others' and hopefully in this dialogue and hospitality we see that there is no 'other' only us and our common humanity.

Some New Heresy

My paper from last years educational ministries class entitled "Playing with Educational Ministry"

It seems paradoxical to think of playing with education. But that is the point! Without play of concepts and knowledge, can there ever be wisdom? For our current education model, we need a ‘call and response’ in order to operate. Play is restricted to gym class and recess. This duelist approach works great in theory, but only if it exists in a vacuum. Vacuums hold no wisdom. I propose that in education, we cannot afford to operate in a vacuum. We are dealing with real people who will respond to our theories in real ways. Real people tend bring things into or to step out of bounds in areas where vacuums can’t operate. We must find a way to educate can hold together in the real world. If we must keep the vacuum, let us then us a quantum vacuum. According to quantum mechanics, the vacuum state is not truly empty but instead contains fleeting electromagnetic waves and particles that pop into and out of existence (“Vacuum State”).

Wisdom then is noticing when waves and particles pop in and out of existence. Wisdom is noticing how the play of light in the floating dust of a room evokes feelings of home. Wisdom is hearing a song on the radio you haven’t heard in a decade and remembering with vivid clarity events forgotten. Wisdom happens when things you know blend into things you experience.

The problem with wisdom is that it is fleeting (Melchert and Profitt). The problem is that wisdom is incredibly hard to test. To compensate for this our education system has concetrated on testable knowledge. Indeed wrote memorization is important, but wisdom occurs in the face of incomplete facts. We may not have all the facts, but that shouldn’t keep us from moving forward. That shouldn’t keep us from trying to gather the facts and look for the interplay between subjects that we know. The education system has negletcted this. We have tilted too far into the realm of utilitarianism.

We are seeing the effects of this in our lagging performance in the world community. The US is producing far less highly techincal professionals (engineers, programmers, etc). and U.S. students do not lead in any assessment (Strauss). We see the same problem in our churches as well. We have many people running around claiming to be Christian and doing very unchristian things. The generations that include late teens to early 30-somethings believe Christians are judgmental, antihomosexual, hypocritical, too political and sheltered (Kinnaman and Lyons). Rather than simply try to do a PR face-lift, we need to develop a way to teach a faith that focuses on holiness but also loves, accepts and works to understand the world around it
This problem is not new. The Danish Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard commented on the state of Christianity when he said, people claim to be “Christian’ without knowing what it means to be Christian. It is also detrimental to the religion itself since it reduces Christianity to a mere fashionable tradition adhered to by unbelieving "believers", a "herd mentality" of the population, so to speak.”

I pains my soul to hear such things. But how do we fix it? I would take a post-modern, post-colonial, deconstructionist approach. What does this mean? It means I know a whole bunch of “university words” that sound impressive. What I’m actually saying in my “de-post” language is that I’m taking a stand to choose. The word for “choose” in Greek is “heresy.”People think heresy is a bad thing. I would argue it’s not. Why is it wrong to choose?! Mainly because the church has declared it so, as they have God nicely boxed and packaged, no need for thought. It’s all figured out. That view, is simply no fun.

Eastern religions and even our parent religion of Judaism has an immense sense of play built right in. Non-orthodox followers of these faiths do not accept things "just because." They must have room for debate. Jews wrestle at the core, in fact the name "Israel" means "to wrestle with God" (El being the word for God). Why wrestle? Well if you've every seen a Greco-Roman wrestling match, you'll note that wrestling is an intimate event. One must know how the opponent's body is positioned and what strategy that person is trying to use to get out of or put the other into a hold. Aside from sex, this is about as intimate as you're going to get.
There is no vacuum in wrestling. The world is sand, in constant flux. The Jewish tradition seems to get that. Plus how they look at the Bible is at a much more complex level than what I’m used to looking at. With this approach, the sense of awe returns. Within that awe, there is a willingness to live within the possibility of each word. The Rabbi's also have developed the midrash, which are collections of stories to help explain the Bible. This sounds like heresy to most Christians, as we tend just to think of what the Bible says but ignore what the Bible does not say. Midrash stories fill in the blanks in the bible. This sense of play and daily application make the stories much more meaningful and the Bible and faith more livable and flexible to the non-static world in which we live.

So the question then becomes how to instill wisdom into a system, which diametrically opposes wisdom. Task learning is a great step forward to recognizing that we live in a quantum vacuum. I certainly will use it within my future ministry. How do we go beyond my future congregation and into the U.S. education? I don’t have the answer for that. But one day, we will.

Works Cited
Kierkegaard, Søren. Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments, Princeton University Press, 1992,

Kinnaman, David and Gabe Lyons. “UnChristian; What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity… and Why it Matters. Baker Books, 2007.

Melchert, Charles and Anabel Proffitt. “Playing in the Presence of God.”

Schramm, David, "The Big Bang Creation of the Universe", in Quarks, Quasars and Quandries, Ed. Gordon Aubrecht, Amer. Assoc of Physics Teachers, 1987. http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/Hbase/Astro/hydhel.html

Strauss, Valerie, A Snapshot of the State of U.S. Education. Tuesday, November 21, 2006 The Washington Post. 4 Apr 2008

"Vacuum state." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 8 Mar 2008, 05:52 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 4 Apr 2008 .

Church as Social Articulation

SVS had a great post last month about why he left the church. This caused me to reflect on why I value the church and have stuck with it, instead of leaving it behind.

here’s my idea of a church: community. like, a real one.

not a surface level “how are you alice, how are the kids?” but more of a fully-realized group idenity. here it’s not a “you must believe ABC to be in our group” as monolithic indenity is a myth.

the church should be a place of articulation: a place that enables us to think how ideologies empowers people, enabling them to make some intelligibility of their socio-economic, class location, social position and cultural influence. namely, the church exists to show you the water in which you swim and offer a non-duelistic way of thinking and compromising with one another.

this would mean that this linkage is not altogether necessary, determinded, absolute or essential for all time… in fact, once this full community is established the church would cease to be as it would become the community at large.

i may be showing my Jungian and Congregationalist bias here, but that’s where i’m at on this issue.

BOOK REVIEW! To Know as We Are Known by Parker Palmer

I had to read this book in my Educational Ministries class and i really LOVED this book. Here is a little review i put together, enjoy!

The main thesis put forth by Parker Palmer in To Know as We are Known is that truth is relational. Parker makes the case that education is at it’s best when it reflects this model. The quest for truth, by this definition, is a quest for self and for community with each other, with all creation and with our Creator. We cannot be removed from the equation and viewed as entities observing truth. We must be a part of it and be willing to be transformed by it. This way of life is only as secure as your relationships, and relationships are a lot of work. Parker’s truth is not to be found in our various doctrines or theologies (as these are partial, impersonal), but in the quality of our relationships.

There can be groups of people who just want the easy, impersonal relationships. I see these in extreme fundamentalist religions. These are a threat to community as a rigid adherence to doctrine takes an objectivist stance that reduces everyone to mere objects for conversion. There is also a subjectivist view when these groups lay claim to the absolute truth and those outside the circle are destined for damnation. In both instances of objective and subjective stances go against this idea of personal truth and how it involves relationships.

Some would claim that Parker is too vague and too idealistic. I don’t see this at all. Parker simply strips away all the systems we’ve added to get to the natural way to truth through community. We’ve ritualized education; we’ve synthesized and systemized for the sake of a controlled path to truth. Parker offers a look back to where we started, a world where relational community met life or death and this fact brought us closer to God.

The problem I see is that America is built on competition. We are a capitalistic society from the get go. Parker’s “truth is relational” stance flies in the face of our society and this makes the idea that much harder to get people to listen to it. How can you enforce good community? How can you measure it? In this area I wish Parker should have gotten down to the nuts and bolts, as this is what the theory hinges upon.

The question of building a good community is one that I will carry with me into my ministry. I will measure my effectiveness in how well my community has bonded. I won’t deal in the currency of answers, but that of questions. The more questions raised, the better and deeper dialogue my future congregation can have and thus a better chance at building true, loving relationships. This method is much more messy and uncontrolled but isn’t this how Jesus taught? Isn’t this how God ultimately connects with us? We build systems that inherently block this truth in the name of controlling and measuring education. The last thing we need is another system as we’ve had the answer in each other all along.

Jesus said, “Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these…” (John 14:12) This is the call of Christian education. We are called to be the way, the truth, and life ourselves. We must become the incarnation of truth. Jesus also gave us the only way to do this is when he said, “When two or three are gathered…” (Matt 18:20)